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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043967">Living Heritage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/MsChaos'>MsChaos</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/Stark-Raving-Hazelnut'>Stark-Raving-Hazelnut (MsChaos)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU Marvel, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Drama, Hydra (Marvel), Light Angst, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Pre-The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV) Trailers, some violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/MsChaos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/Stark-Raving-Hazelnut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam helps Bucky navigate the emotional minefield when he discovers that his living family members are still alive. Will they accept Bucky despite his blackened history or will they push him away in order to be safe from the Winter Soldier's past? *Takes place after "Avengers: Endgame" and before "The Falcon and the Winter Soldier" tv series.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The idea for this story came when I saw  photos of Sebastian Stan with short hair while filming the tv series. I had wondered how, when and why Bucky decided to cut his hair short and thought him meeting his living family would be a good enough reason for it. I wanted to post this before the show began and since we got a new trailer recently with a release date, I thought I'd better post it now before the tv show basically writes their own version of events of where Bucky is now with Sam at the start of the show and this fic becomes AU. This might be a 3 or 4 part story, I am not sure but that could all change as I write.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky struggles with the decision of meeting his younger sister, Rebecca Barnes after so many years.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>“I found it.” Sam declared as he stood in the doorway.</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky slowly looked up from his journal and saw the piece of paper in Sam's hand. Goddamn it, he had hoped that Sam failed in his search, but he should have known that such information would be easy to find now. When Bucky first began to search for his family, he had purposely taken his time and didn’t look hard enough. He claimed that he couldn’t navigate well enough on the computer as an excuse to stop searching but he should have known better. One quick search on the computer with a name and last known address and you can get any piece of information out there. There really is no hiding anymore. It's a little frightening he thought but then again, he had seen worse. Hell, he's been worse. It still surprised Bucky how Sam still stuck around after everything he had learned about the Winter Solider.</p>
<p>He annoyed Bucky at first. Sam was deliberate at being irritating towards him despite having been together for such a short time in Germany. He didn't like Bucky at first. He made that clear. Sam had muttered a snarky comment at Bucky about the steering wheel while Steve drove the beetle.  He certainly hasn’t forgiven Bucky for pulling out the steering wheel of his car, it seemed. Clearly, he was still sore about that. Bucky had climbed into the backseat of the car without saying a word. It was such a small car, not made for someone of his size and shape. Not made for either of them, to be honest so it made the perfect cover. He felt cramped in the backseat; his knees were almost pressed into the front seat where Sam sat. As they drove, he noticed that every time he shifted, Sam's seat would recline back just a little more, trapping Bucky further into the backseat. But Bucky had to agree that when the going got tough, Sam was there. One hundred percent. He wasn't about to let personal feelings get in the way in doing what is right. He fought beside him at the airport, and he protected Sam from that Spider kid's hit. Bucky figured that he should be grateful that someone like Sam was there for Steve when he had disappeared to Romania. So even though they didn't get along at first and Sam didn't trust him, they came to respect each other and gradually earned that trust. And with that trust between them, Sam started to offer his help with his experience as a counselor for Bucky and eventually his help in locating his family. He didn't believe that Sam would accomplish that mission given the lack of information he had given him.</p>
<p class="Standard">He couldn’t seem to remember what his family looked like except for vague glimpses of dark hair and blue eyes. He didn’t even remember how many siblings he had until he visited the Smithsonian website let alone any of their names or birthdates. However, there was one name he did remember.</p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard">“No.” Bucky simply replied.</p>
<p class="Standard">Sam sighed. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “You asked me to help you. To look into-”</p>
<p class="Standard">“I asked for information. Not to set up a meet and greet.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“<em>This</em> is information. This is a chance to learn more about you and your family. Paperwork and records aren't going to help to answer any questions.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“Questions like what? I don't need to know any more than the basics.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“Yes, you do. You'll get more than the basics. You'll have stories. Personal, family stories that will help paint a picture of who these people were when you were- “</p>
<p>“Tortured? Brainwashed?” Bucky shot back hotly.</p>
<p>Sam looked at Bucky sadly for a moment until he quietly replied, “Missing.”</p>
<p>Bucky scoffed. That was a delicate way of putting things. The Bucky that his family knew was gone. Never to come back.</p>
<p>“They are your family. They can…”</p>
<p>“<em>They are not my family.</em>” Bucky hissed quietly at Sam, “Not anymore. I lost that privilege the moment the Winter Soldier came along.” He doesn't want to think of them as family. The idea hurt too much.</p>
<p>“They are your family whether you want them to be or not. And they are out there. One day, they won't be there anymore, and you are going to regret it. Trust me.”</p>
<p>Sam walked over to where Bucky sat on his bed. He placed the slip of paper on his nightstand, no less than an arm's length away.</p>
<p>“She lives in upstate New York. She moved out of the city about five years ago.”</p>
<p>Bucky made no move towards the paper. Instead he stared at it as if it was going to bite him. He didn't hear Sam leave the room, leaving him alone with that piece of paper and his choice.</p>
<p>But he was right. Goddamn it. Sam was right and Bucky hated that he was right. It was the one step he needed to put the pieces of his past together and to be honest, it terrified him. How could he face them, his own flesh and blood after everything he had done? They don't deserve to meet someone like him. A man who has killed so many people over the past 50 years. He had caused death and destruction and pain to so many more. As far as he was concerned, he had sullied the Barnes name, debased it with the blood of the innocent people he had killed. He should separate himself from them. Stay away as far as he can.</p>
<p>But curiosity got the best of him.  A small part of him had often wondered, even dreamed of those years he had missed with his family. Sam was right as much as he hated to admit it. He had questions and those questions can't be answered by archive records. He wanted to know what happened to them after the war. Did his sisters get married? His brother? Did they have kids of their own? What happened to his mother? His dad? And most importantly, were they happy?</p>
<p>Slowly with some trepidation, Bucky reached for the paper and carefully opened it. His breath hitched at the sight of the name he thought he had forgotten so long ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rebecca Barnes Proctor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had this story idea ever since I saw photos of Sebastian Stan with short hair while filming "The Falcon and The Winter Soldier." The question of why did Bucky cut his hair instead of keeping it long(other than Sebastian Stan not having to wear a wig for the whole show) and the answer came to me that said "To make a first impression for his family, of course!" And thus, this fic came out. So, the fic takes place before the events of "The Falcon and the Winter Soldier" which I'm sure will make this fic an AU when it airs in March. </p>
<p>P.S. How fucking awesome was that official trailer??? I can't wait!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky gets a new haircut.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="Standard">As he stared at the name on the white piece of paper, the image of Rebecca Barnes came into his mind. Her face came to him more clearly, more so than his parents or other siblings. Holding the piece of paper in his hand with her name, his mind drifted off into his broken memories and there he saw a little girl about nine maybe ten years old with a head full of dark hair and wide blue eyes like his. He and his sister were the only ones in their families with the same blue eyes, he suddenly recalled. She was just a kid when he had shipped out. He struggled to remember what he had told her before he left as he held her in his arms. She clung on to him, terrified to let him go as she cried. He can remember how her tears soaked into the shoulder of his brown army uniform. Her quiet, muffled sobs.</p>
<p class="Standard">He felt his heart constrict at that sudden memory. He swallowed against the tickling feeling that formed in this throat and absentmindedly wiped at his eyes with his flesh hand.</p>
<p class="Standard">How was he going to handle this? This was going to be an emotional mind field the more he delved into it. A part of him wanted to stay away from the Proctors but a small selfish part of him wanted to know these people. They were his family. After so many years of terror, death and fear, he wanted that comfort of family. Rationally, he knew this wasn’t possible. Integrating himself with the Proctors wasn’t going to make his problems, or his issues go away. It wasn’t going to fix anything. But the words, “his family” kept popping into his head and it brought with it the familiar comforts of home, of being safe. The promise of being at peace.</p>
<p class="Standard">This is exactly what he wanted to avoid but Sam didn’t want to listen. He feels conflicted and confused. He didn’t know what to do. He’s going to need some time to think.</p>
<p class="Standard">In the end, it had taken him days to finally come to a decision. Then a couple of weeks to make the call. He had tried to call the number a few times but always hung up before anyone could answer. He couldn't help but feel anxiety at the possible voice at the other end. What was he going to say? Hi. I'm your brother that's supposed to be dead. By the way, I was the Winter Soldier. You know that mysterious assassin that was on the news a few years back? Don't worry, I'm not a killer anymore. What's for dinner?</p>
<p class="Standard">After the fifth phone call attempt, Sam decided to call the Proctors himself and save Bucky the anxiety of having to talk to anyone from his family.</p>
<p class="Standard">“They invited us to go visit them next Sunday.” Sam said after he hung up. “They said that we can stop by anytime.”</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky nodded his head tersely and walked out of the room. Next Sunday. A week away.</p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard">Fuck.</p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard">Sam was sitting at the kitchen table when he glanced up and saw Bucky’s new haircut. He did a double take when he looked up from his breakfast as Bucky strolled in. He let his mouth drop slightly open in shock at this different version of Bucky.</p>
<p>“What did you do to your hair?” he asked, his eyes following Bucky make his way towards the fridge.</p>
<p>Bucky rolled his eyes. “What's it looks like?” He pulled out the carton of orange juice and took a big swig from it.</p>
<p>“Man, I thought you would never get a haircut. I almost didn't recognize you.”</p>
<p>Bucky grinned sardonically.</p>
<p>“You should have told me. I would have taken your picture so you can have a before and after photos.” Sam stood up and walked over to Bucky.</p>
<p>“Not a chance.”</p>
<p>“I'm gonna miss seeing all that hair, flapping in the wind during our morning runs.” Sam chuckled.</p>
<p>Bucky smiled tightly.</p>
<p>“But seriously. Why did you cut it?” Sam asked as he leaned against the counter across from Bucky.</p>
<p>Bucky grunted noncommittally and shrugged.</p>
<p>Sam narrowed his eyes slightly. “Is it because you're going to visit your family?”</p>
<p>Bucky sighed and looked at Sam. “Yeah.” Was it that obvious?</p>
<p class="Standard">He woke up early that morning and sneaked into Sam's bathroom for his scissors and hair clippers. The night before, Bucky stood in front of his bathroom mirror and glared at his reflection. The upcoming meeting with The Proctors weighed heavily on his mind. As he stared at his pale face with dark circles under eyes, he realized that this is what people saw right before they died. If they managed to get close enough to the Winter Soldier, that is. His face hidden behind that mask and the long hair made him look like he was a wild man with a muzzle on his face. It was possible that his look wasn't Hydra's intention. Bucky figured they just neglected or didn't care about his hair until they realized that its long length had given him a persona to go along with his name. A warrior. Something that cannot be contained once unleashed (but still under Hydra's control, of course). Hydra's weapon. He thought he had put Hydra behind him but now there was this one last thing that he could do to finish that. And what better incentive is there than meeting his family for the first time. To start the slate clean, fully.</p>
<p class="Standard">He reached for the scissors and began to cut. Once he had the desired short length, he grabbed the hair clippers and switched it on. His mouth curved into a smirk. Sam is going to be pissed that he used these without asking. And thanks to the Smithsonian's website, there was plenty of old photos of himself. He pulled up one photo and used it as guide as he began to cut his hair. He watched as first chunk of strands of his hair fall lightly into the sink. The first step toward being himself. Whatever that is.</p>
<p class="Standard">Now he stood in the kitchen with his new hair style, being judged by Sam.</p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard">“I just wanted to look... presentable. All that hair made me look...”</p>
<p class="Standard">“Scary and intimidating?” Sam supplied.</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky nodded. “Like I was hiding. I don't want to hide. Not to Rebecca.” He said her name softly.</p>
<p class="Standard">“That's understandable. You want your sister to see you. James Bucky Barnes. Not the Winter Soldier.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“Yeah but I'm not even that Bucky anymore. Not the Bucky she remembers.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“So? Show her the Bucky that you are now. I doubt she would be disappointed.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“After everything I had done. Can you blame her if she would be?” Bucky asked.</p>
<p class="Standard">“She won't be. Not after she learns all the good you had done since then. It doesn't erase the stuff you did but the time, energy, and effort that you did to get to this point, does counts. It shows that good guy Bucky Barnes is still there. Her brother. Always has been. That is what your sister will see when she sees you again.”</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky nodded without saying a word. He still felt nervous about seeing his sister. He never really cared what other people think or had said about him. He probably would agree with them. He's also had thought of much worse about himself. But its different with family. These are the people that knew him almost his whole life. After all this time, he still felt like he didn't want to disappoint them. But at the same time if there was anyone who would accept him as he is, it would be his family.</p>
<p class="Standard">“You're right,” he reluctantly told Sam. He hated when Sam was right. “Hopefully she'll be proud.”</p>
<p class="Standard">“'Atta boy.” Sam said as he slapped Bucky on the back. “By the way, I do like the new haircut.”</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky smiled softly. “Thanks.”</p>
<p class="Standard">"I’m just glad that I don’t have to unclog all your hair from the shower drain anymore.” Sam said, mussing up Bucky's hair as he walked away.</p>
<p class="Standard">Bucky quickly grabbed a bagel that was next to him and threw it at Sam's back. He grinned when he heard Sam's undignified yelp as it made contact at the back of his head.</p>
<p class="Standard"> </p>
<p class="Standard">
  <em>tbc...</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hopefully, I am getting the dynamic between Bucky and Sam right in this chapter since so far we haven't really seen them interact with each other than in Civil War. We only saw a glimpse of it in the recent new trailer for the series but all I could see is Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie in that lol. Hope you liked this chapter. Please leave a review!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night before meeting Rebecca, Bucky had a nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>He was standing at the New York Port of Embarkation in his uniform with his bag by his feet. He was holding little Rebecca in his arms. She held onto him tightly. He could feel her nails dig desperately into his shoulders as her cries turned into wails.</p><p>“Shhh. Shhhhh, Becky. Please, stop. Stop crying. I’ll be back.” He tried to soothe her but Rebecca just cried louder and louder.</p><p>“Noooooo! Please, don’t go! Don’t leave me!”</p><p>“Becky, I have to. But I promise I’ll come back.”</p><p>“No, you won’t!”</p><p>“Yes, I will.”</p><p>“They’ll take you away!”</p><p>“They won’t. I won’t let them.” He reassured her. He had never seen her this hysterical before. Not even that time when she broke her arm riding his bike down the street. She seemed desperate, terrified.</p><p>“But they did!” she sobbed. “They took you away from me!”</p><p>“No, they didn’t. I’m right here. Look at me,” he pulled Rebecca away from his shoulder. Her blue eyes were tinged with redness and filled with tears. “I am right here.”</p><p>“Not anymore you’re not.” She choked out.</p><p>Before he could say anything, he felt each of his arms being grabbed by two strong hands. He watched as some unidentified man in a uniform, tear Rebecca from him. She became even more distraught and tried to fight off the man, kicking and screaming as he pulled her away.</p><p>The hands hooked onto his arms and began to drag him in the opposite direction.</p><p><em>Wait. This isn’t how it happened</em>, he thought.</p><p>Bucky watched as Rebecca reached out with her little arms to him. The man was taking her further and further away.</p><p>“Nooooo! Bring him back! Bring him back!” she wailed, twisting in the man’s grasp. “I want my brother back!”</p><p>Bucky was fighting, too. He yanked and pulled against the arms dragging him away from her, but he was weak. And cold. When did he get so cold?</p><p>He looked up at the men who were hauling him. They wore uniforms. Hydra uniforms.</p><p>No. This can’t be.</p><p>He looked back and cried out at Rebecca, his eyes going wide in fear as he watched the man take her away down a dark corridor. He fought desperately against the men who were taking him away from his sister despite the fact he was still weak from waking up out of cryo.</p><p>Rebecca’s screams and cries echoed in the passageway. He watched as she still tried to reach out for him until the door slammed shut, separating them forever.</p><p>Bucky felt himself being shoved into the chair. His breathing picked up and his heart pounded as the arm restraints clamped down around his arms, effectively locking him down. He felt helpless as the headset began to descend around his head and face. He shivered. He knew what was coming next.</p><p>“Sergeant Barnes.” that voice called out to him. He couldn’t move his head, so his eyes followed the figure of Armin Zola until he walked into his view and he stood over him with that stupid smile on his face. He could feel the tears forming around his eyes as he looked up at the Swiss scientist. He flinched and clenched his fists as Dr. Zola lean forward over Bucky until his face was closed to his. He smiled and then whispered,</p><p>“Welcome back.”</p><p>A switch was flipped, and electricity flowed into his head causing him to scream in pain and terror.</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s when I woke up.” Bucky said, softly. He sat in the kitchen table, holding a cup of coffee between his hands. He kept his head down and hasn’t look up at Sam once when he began to describe his nightmare. He woke up, covered in sweat, shaking. A scream was trapped in his throat. He couldn’t go back to sleep after that. He thought he was getting better since his nightmares were becoming less and less intense ever since he left Wakanda. This one dream felt vivid and so real. He could smell Zola’s breath when he was bent over Bucky and feel the electricity course through his head. The dream rattled him something fierce. It had been a long time he had a nightmare that intense. Maybe it means he’s not ready to meet his sister. Maybe he’s still unstable. Something could still set him off.</p><p>“Well,” Sam said slowly. “I’m no expert in decoding dreams but by judging yours, anyone can see that you are very nervous to meet your sister.”</p><p>“But-“</p><p>“Bucky. It doesn’t mean anything except that it’s about your fears.”</p><p>Bucky was quiet for a moment, trying to let Sam’s reassurance sink in. What he was saying made sense. He had been nervous for days now. More than nervous about meeting his sister. He was terrified. Not of what he could do but what she might say. Now that the day was almost here, he was terrified of his sister. How ironic.</p><p>“Look,” Sam spoke up during Bucky’s silence. “If you don’t want to go, that’s fine. We could always reschedule or call and tell them you’re not feeling up to it. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head. “No.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll go. I need to go.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I feel like I may have pushed you a bit.”</p><p>“I can’t keep hiding from this. I need to face it head on.” He said quietly.</p><p>Sam smiled softly. “So, you’re finally taking my advice?”</p><p>“Figured I should. You’ve been right about everything so far.”</p><p>“Of course, I’m right. I’m smart. You should listen to me.”</p><p>Bucky smiled. That is very true he thought. Once again, he was glad Steve had someone like Sam with him when he wasn’t there to speak some sense into that idiot. God knows, he tried all his life, but Steve was a stubborn fool. A good guy but a stubborn fool.</p><p>#</p><p>They arrived at the house late in the afternoon. The Proctors home was large and secluded in a wooded area in upstate New York. The house was a large, gray, two story farmhouse home surrounded by trees. They were living in a pretty private area. The nearest home was almost a mile away. They were away from the noise of the city and away from people which Bucky found strange. He never thought Rebecca would ever live out in the sticks. Her energy always matched those of the city. </p><p>Sam was the first to reach the door. He turned to look at Bucky, thinking he was next to him only find he was behind him. He hanged back, standing on the top step of the porch, too nervous to go any further.</p><p>“You want me to knock?” Sam asked.</p><p>Bucky nodded curtly, glaring at the front door as if it was going to jump out and attack him. Sam turned back and knocked.</p><p>They stood waiting for a moment. Sam was calm while Bucky was tense. He fidgeted his feet as if he was preparing himself to run away. The urge was there. He could turn around and head back into the car and drive away. Sam could find his own way home. But any plans to escape was too late when Bucky saw the door open and a short haired, blonde woman answered the door.</p><p>“Yes? Can I help you?” her voice was a little wary when she glanced over at Bucky.</p><p>“Kimberly Proctor? I’m Sam Wilson. We spoke on the phone the other day.”</p><p>Her face lit up, “Oh yes! You said that you would be coming over. Please come in.” She opened the door wider. Sam walked in confidently whereas Bucky walked in with trepidation. His eyes darted around the place as if he was expecting something to pop out and attack, Sam noticed when he turned to look at Bucky. Bucky stood next to the door, his left fist clenching. He looked like a rabbit ready to bounce. He took in the photos on the walls, the flowers decorating on the coffee table. The comfortable, worn couch. The place looked cozy.</p><p>“Are you… Bucky?”</p><p>Bucky’s head whipped over to look at Kimberly in shock like he had forgotten she was there. His lips pinched shut and he nodded his head. A slow smile appeared on her delicate face and she offered her hand to Bucky to shake.</p><p>“I’m Kim. I’m your great-niece.”</p><p>Bucky’s eyes widen slightly, taken back. He didn’t expect… well, he didn’t know what he expected. He had been so entirely focused on meeting Rebecca; he had forgotten about meeting the rest of the family. He looked over Kim slowly. She wore dark blue jeans with a black and white checked flannel shirt and sneakers. She was a bit shorter than him with shoulder length blonde hair that was curled in a modern style. She had a lean heart shaped face with full lips. She didn’t resemble Rebecca, granted the last time he saw her she was ten years old, but he got the sense that Kim had gotten her looks from her father. The only resemblance he can see is her eyes. The same shape and color like his and Rebecca’s. When she smiled, they were soft. They were kind.</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” He rasped.</p><p>Kim’s smile widens. “Likewise.”</p><p>“Mom!” a small voice came from upstairs. Footsteps thudded gently on the stairs as a little boy came rushing down. He paused hallway down when he saw Bucky. He looked over at Kim, questioning.</p><p>“Sweetie, I want you to meet someone.” She gestured the little boy to come stand next to her. He went to his mother and latched onto her side. The little boy was instantly shy. He had dark, brown hair and eyes. He looked at his mother and then, looked at Bucky warily.</p><p>“I want you to meet…” She paused for a moment and shot a quick look at Bucky, unsure how to explain. “This... is your uncle James.”</p><p>The little boy looked at his mother in surprise. “That’s my name!”</p><p>It was Bucky’s turn to be surprise. This kid was named after him?</p><p>“Is that right?” he choked out. The little boy, James, turned to look at Bucky. He smiled shyly and nodded. Bucky was hit with a sudden wave of memory. Another young boy with the same features.</p><p>
  <em>"Bucky! Give it back!” his brother cried. </em>
</p><p><em> "</em> <em>What is this?” Bucky teased. “And who is Maggie?”</em></p><p><em> "</em> <em>None of your beeswax!” he tried to reach for the note but was too slow. Bucky held it away from him.</em></p><p><em> "</em> <em>It’s not the shopkeeper’s daughter, is it?</em></p><p><em> "</em> <em>No!” he denied. He was blushing. Bucky noticed. He couldn’t help but feel some sympathy for his brother. He gave the note back. He leaned over to him and whispered, </em></p><p><em> "</em> <em>Do you like her?” His brother hesitated at first, but he could hear how sincere Bucky was. </em></p><p> <em>He nodded, “Yeah.” Bucky smirked. </em></p><p><em> "</em> <em>Does she like you?”</em></p><p> <em>His brother looked at Bucky. He smiled shyly and nodded. </em></p><p>Bucky blinked and smothered a gasp. The memory of his brother was so clear and came out of nowhere that it almost knocked him off his feet.</p><p>“Everyone calls me Jamie because grandpa’s name is James too.” So Bucky’s name had been passed down. Bucky stared at the kid. Jamie looked so much like his brother he saw in that memory. The kid noticed his distressed, so he quickly recovered and gave a tight smile.</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.” Bucky said.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, too.” He said. He pressed himself further to his mother’s side.</p><p>“And this is Mr. Sam Wilson.” Kim informed. Sam smiled and waved.</p><p>James eyes went wide. “The Falcon? Cool!” he exclaimed. “Did you bring your wings? Can I see them?”</p><p>“Sorry, little man. It’s my day off.”  Sam smiled.</p><p>“James. What did you wanted to tell me earlier?” Kim asked.</p><p>“Oh, Grams wanted to come downstairs.”</p><p>“Grams?” Bucky whispered. He looked up at the direction of staircase. She was up there.</p><p>“Okay, tell her I’ll be up in a while to help.” Kim ushered James up the stairs until he was gone.</p><p>“Sam told us you were coming so I thought we could have lunch out back in the patio. Is… that alright?” Kim looked to Bucky to confirm. She could clearly see that he was nervous and agitated. Bucky’s stomach was in a knot. He wasn’t sure if he could eat anything. He didn’t want to be rude.</p><p>“Yeah, sure. That would be great.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Sam said.</p><p>“Great.” Kim smiled. “Please, make yourselves at home. I’ll go get her.” And with that Kim disappeared upstairs.</p><p>Bucky let out a deep breath and sagged.  “Holy shit.”</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m…” Bucky shook his head in disbelief. “Trying to wrap my head around all this.”</p><p>“I know it’s a lot but you’re doing great.”</p><p>Bucky scoffed, “Did you see the look on that kid's face? I’m already the weird uncle. Or great uncle or whatever in this weird family reunion makes me.”</p><p>This felt so surreal for Bucky. His life has been one huge roller coaster ride of fucked up ever since he had fallen off that train. For all intents and purposes, he should have been dead in that fall. But here he is now, alive almost 80 years later, he's got a metal arm, been turned to dust, and he is now talking to his great-niece and nephew. </p><p>Bucky looked over the living room again, taking in the furnishings and the decor. His eyes noticed a whole line of photos in the living room, sitting on top of a table under the window. He walked over to them, taking in each one. They were all photos of happy times. Photos of holidays, family dinners, trips, special occasions and birthdays. In each one, everyone looked happy including Rebecca. He stopped at one photo. He picked it up gently, bringing it closer to him. It was her wedding photo.</p><p>                                                                                     </p><p>                                                                                         </p><p>                                                                                     </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She looked like she was maybe in her 20s. She was dressed in lace, full gown with matching long sleeves and wore a cap that had a veil falling down her back of pearl buttons. Her hair was done up and curled in the fashion of whatever time this was and she was holding a bouquet of white flowers. Her lips were painted red and was smiling. She looked beautiful, Bucky thought.</p><p>Then he felt this sudden rage rise in him. He should have been there. He should have been there to meet her husband. To give him a hard time, maybe threaten him a little like any older brother would. He should have been there to see their father walk her down the aisle. He should have been there to dance with her. He should have been there to visit her at the hospital when she gave birth to her first child. He should have been there for birthdays and holidays. He should have been there. But Hydra took all those years away from him. They stole those moments away from him. Goddamn those bastards.</p><p>“Bucky!” Sam’s voice called out. Bucky startled. He blinked and looked at Sam who was standing next to him with a worried look on his face.</p><p>“You alright? I was calling your name.”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry. Sorry, I was just thinking.” Bucky said.</p><p>Sam continue to look at him. "You had this look in your eye."</p><p>"What look?" Bucky asked, knowing full well what look Sam was talking about.</p><p>"Like I was looking... at someone else."</p><p>Bucky side-eyed Sam. "Like I said. I was just thinking." Sam didn’t seem convinced by Bucky’s lie.</p><p>They both heard a noise behind them and turned to look. Bucky’s heart almost stopped. Kim came down the stairs slowly and right by her side was Rebecca. She immediately locked eyes onto Bucky’s, blue hitting blue. Her mouth dropped slightly open and brought her hand to her mouth as if she was trying to hold back the gasp that escaped from her lips. She stood still, unable to move. Kim was holding her, keeping her steady as she continued to stare. She dropped her hand down to her chest over her heart. Tears began to form in her eyes.</p><p>“Bucky?”</p><p>tbc...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here... we... go! Please let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bucky and Rebecca finally meet and take a trip down memory lane. Which kind of bumpy road for Bucky.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I meant to post this chapter sooner but I had just graduate from my university as an English major and I also had to do some rewrites because I didn't like how it was coming out(still feel kind of iffy about it) and holidays just got in the way and tbh, lately I've been feeling really discourage. Especially towards my writing. With everything that is going on, I'm probably not the only one but dealing with RL sucks major ass atm. Stress and worries make for a bitch of a wall for writing. Please let me know what you think or any questions. I would love to hear from you, dear reader!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Brooklyn, 1932.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>            When Rebecca was born, Bucky was only 15 years old. They were in the third year of the Great Depression and Bucky’s father managed to find work at the docks for a few days which gave them a chance to finally have a decent meal.</p><p>Bucky had gotten sick with the flu that lasted almost a week and was ordered by both of his parents to stay home from school. Steve had come by a few times to drop off his homework but couldn’t come any closer other than the front door of the Barnes’ apartment.</p><p>His mother was in the kitchen while Bucky was curled up in bed, recovering from his fever breaking. He practically jumped out of his bed when he heard a loud crash in the kitchen and his mother cry out in pain. Bucky rushed to the kitchen, adrenaline fueling him and when he entered, he saw his mother, sitting on the floor clutching her round belly.</p><p>“The baby!” she gasped, “It’s coming!”</p><p>Panic like he never had felt, washed over him. What in the hell was he supposed to do? His mind went blank. It was obvious what was happening, but he couldn’t quite believe it was happening.</p><p>“I’ll get the car!” He said, the idea suddenly came to him. He was about to leave when his mother grabbed him and yanked him towards her with an unbelievable strength.</p><p>“James, we do not have a car!”</p><p>Oh, that’s right. They had to sell it in order to help pay the rent. “Ok, um…I’ll call a taxi?”</p><p>“No, there’s no time!” She cried out in pain again, “I need you to go get Mrs. Rogers.”  She gasped.</p><p>“Steve’s mom? Why?”</p><p>“She is a nurse, for God Sake’s James!” His mother had taken the lord’s name in vain. This is serious.</p><p>“James! Please, move your goddamn ass!”</p><p>She did it again. And she said ass. She really was in pain. And with that, he took off like a shot. He ran down the hall towards the Rogers’ door. He banged on it, loudly. A frazzled looking Sarah Rogers answered, bewildered by Bucky’s appearance.</p><p>“James, what on earth-?”</p><p>“Mom- the baby- now!” Bucky could barely get the words out, but Mrs. Rogers somehow understood. She and Bucky ran over back to the apartment to where Mrs. Barnes still sat, writhing in pain on the kitchen floor.</p><p>“Oh, God, Sarah.” She sobbed in relief when she saw Mrs. Rogers rush in. She reached out with her hand.</p><p>“It’s okay, Winnie. I’m here. Everything is going to be alright.” She soothed, quickly knelt next to her, grabbing her hand.</p><p>“The baby is coming now!” Mrs. Barnes said, frantic.</p><p>“Mom?” Bucky suddenly heard Steve’s voice coming up behind him and into the kitchen. Steve looked in shock at the sight of Mrs. Barnes on the floor, in pain. He had come home from school to an open door to his apartment and then heard the screams of pain coming from the Barnes’ apartment. He was expecting someone to be seriously injured. Not Mrs. Barnes having a baby. He looked at Bucky who was standing there pale and in shock.</p><p>“Steven, I need you to go get some clean sheets. James, go boil some water.” Mrs. Rogers was using her nurse’s voice. The one reserved for patients and doctors at the hospital. She was now in charge. James began to move around in the kitchen and Steve quickly left the room and down to the hall where the Barnes kept the sheets. Bucky was on autopilot. He couldn’t think beyond the order Mrs. Rogers had given him. He was glad that Mrs. Rogers was here to help. He went back to Mrs. Rogers’ side and announced that the water was set to boil. </p><p>“Alright, James. I need to you to get behind your mother and you’re going to support her. She’s going to need your help.” Bucky hesitated. He felt scared and helpless and didn’t know what to do. He had never seen his mother in this much pain before and he didn’t like it.</p><p>“I-I can’t.” he said, fearful.</p><p>“Yes, you can, James. You’re the big brother, you can do it.”</p><p>“Maybe, we should take her to the hospital?”</p><p>“There’s no time! This baby is coming now! Please, James help your mother.”</p><p>Bucky went over to his mother and sat behind her. Mrs. Barnes leaned her back against him and grabbed onto his hands. She was breathing hard and fast. Sweat was already dripping down her face and let out little cries of pain.</p><p>“I got the sheets.” Steve declared as he came back to the kitchen and placed them next to Mrs. Rogers.  “What else do you need me to do?”</p><p>“You did a good job, sweetheart. James. Where’s your father?”</p><p>“Um, at-at the docks.”</p><p>“Okay, Steven, I need you to go Murphy’s and ask them to take you to get Mr. Barnes. Now!”</p><p>And then Steve was gone.</p><p>“Alright, Winnie. Get ready to push.”</p><p> Mrs. Barnes held on to Bucky’s hands, getting ready to bare down. Bucky winced at his mother’s sudden strong grip.</p><p>An hour later Rebecca Margaret Barnes was born, and Bucky was left with a sore hand. That didn’t matter to him because he just watched his little baby sister be born into this world.</p><p> </p><p>#</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, neither of them moved.</p><p>Bucky’s heart was beating fast as he stared at the old woman across the room from him. But she wasn’t just any old woman. She was his sister. His little baby sister. He heard his sister let out a quiet sob. At that sound he wanted to go to her and comfort her, but he didn’t. He was afraid. He watched as Rebecca began to walk slowly towards him. He hesitated but he managed to get his feet moving and walk towards her. He met her halfway into the living room where she walked right up to him and grasped his arms. He winced internally when he felt her hand land on the sleeve of his jacket where his metal arm was hidden. Rebecca looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She looked so small, he thought mournfully. Her hair was no longer the dark brown that he remembered but white and she had more wrinkles, but she still had those same blue eyes. She was still beautiful.</p><p>“Oh, Bucky. It’s you.” She whispered. It was like she almost couldn’t believe it even though he was standing right in front of her. He couldn’t speak. He was worried that if he did that, he would break down completely. He could barely keep it in as it is. Suddenly, Rebecca brought her head down onto his chest and began to weep. Bucky couldn’t do anything except hold on to his little sister. He could feel a sob wanting to tear its way out of his own throat, but he swallowed against it, gritting his teeth.</p><p>“You came back.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. He was aware that they weren’t alone in the room, but he didn’t care. As far as he was concern, in that moment there was only just the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>#</p><p>Rebecca and Bucky were left alone in the living room while Sam helped Kim set up for lunch out back in the patio, giving them a chance to talk.</p><p>They sat together on the sofa with Rebecca holding one of his hands (not the metal one). She kept staring at his face as if she was trying to memorize every detail of his face.</p><p>“My God. You haven’t changed at all.” She said in awe, wiping the last of her tears. She brought her hand up to his cheek and cupped it.  “You look just like how I last saw you.”</p><p>“Believe me, I’ve changed.”</p><p>Rebecca chuckled. “I don’t think you’ve noticed but I am the one with the gray hair. I looked old enough to be our grandmother.  The last time I saw you, I was ten years old.”</p><p>“I remember.” He smiled tightly.</p><p>“You do? Your friend, Sam said that you have a problem with your memory.”</p><p>Bucky shifted in his seat uncomfortably, “Yeah, you could say that.”</p><p>“How is it possible that you still look so young?”</p><p>Bucky tensed up. This was getting dangerously close to a conversation that he wasn’t ready to have yet with his sister.</p><p>“Bucky?”</p><p>“Can we…  I mean, I rather not talk about that. Just yet.” He said, roughly. Rebecca nodded.</p><p>“Alright. You can tell me when you are ready.”</p><p>Bucky nodded. A small measure of weight lifted off his chest.</p><p>“When your friend, Sam called, I almost didn’t want to believe it.”</p><p>“How much did he tell you?”</p><p>“Not much. He said that it’s your story to tell, not his.” Rebecca said. “He just explained that it’s something similar what Steve went through when he woke up. He visited me a few times in the city, you know.”</p><p>“He did?”</p><p>Rebecca nodded. “The first thing he say to me was an apology.”</p><p>Bucky looked confused, “Apologized for what?”</p><p>“For not saving you.”</p><p>Bucky groaned internally. Steve never let himself get rid of that guilt even after he found out Bucky was still alive.</p><p>“I told him there was no need to. I knew he did all he could.”</p><p>“I don’t blame him either.” Bucky said, roughly.</p><p>“I mourned you. We all did but when I heard your name on the news about that bombing in Vienna, I thought it was a mistake. I thought maybe someone had taken your name and used it for such a deplorable act. And then all these stories started coming out.”</p><p>Well, she wasn’t that far off. Yes, he wasn’t responsible for the bombing but Zemo had used his name and his “other” name to get him alone and further his plan for revenge.</p><p>“But Sam called us and explained that you were looking for us.  I mean, I read the stories in the newspapers about Captain America found in the ice and to see Steve standing in front of me, was a huge shock, let me tell you. But this?” She laughed.  “I couldn’t believe it. All these years… It’s like a miracle.”</p><p>Bucky scoffed. “Believe me, it wasn’t.”</p><p>Silence fell between them. Rebecca was still looking at Bucky in admiration. She just looked like a little sister who is proud of her big brother.</p><p>“So…"Bucky cleared his throat. "What have… you been up…to?” Bucky winced. God, that sounded so lame to Bucky. How do you casually ask your 90 something sister about her life for the past 80 years?</p><p>Rebecca only smiled. “It’s been such a long time. Do you have about four hours to tell you my life story?”</p><p>Bucky gently squeezed Rebecca’s hand. “For you, I got all the time in the world.”</p><p>Rebecca merely grinned. She started at how she met her husband, Charles Proctor. She had majored in Art History at Wellesley College and then graduate school in UCLA on a scholarship where she met her future husband. She was surprised to learn that he was also from New York and together they shared their love of the city and had planned to move back as soon as they could. After graduate school, Rebecca and Charles moved back to New York, where they got married. She taught art class in middle school and Charles worked at a bank. They had a comfortable living with two children, Richard and Sarah. Bucky was glad to hear that.</p><p>They moved the conversation out to the patio in the backyard where they had lunch. The conversation was comfortable with Kim and Rebecca recalling happy memories. Rebecca made Kim to bring out a few photo albums after they were finished with lunch. Apparently, Rebecca was the photographer in the family. A hobby she had picked up during college. She and Bucky went through the photos, with her reminiscing the happy times until they came upon one photo of a young man.</p><p>“Who is this?” Bucky asked. Rebeca and Kim looked at each other.</p><p>“That’s Paul. Our brother.” Rebecca said.  Bucky taken back. He didn’t recognize his own brother.</p><p>“I didn’t…”</p><p>“It’s okay. I understand.” Rebecca said softly.</p><p>“Jamie looks like him.”</p><p>“Does he?” Kim asked. Bucky nodded.</p><p>“He was about 18 here. A year before he moved out to Montana.” Rebecca said.</p><p>“Montana?”</p><p>“Yes. Mom was beside herself. She was so worried about him moving out so far. But Paul, he always loved that outdoor life. He always- ”</p><p>“He always wanted to be a cowboy.” Bucky finished. The memory just came to him. He remembered how obsessed Paul was with those Western films and stories growing up. “He always played cowboys and Indians with the kids in the neighborhood.”</p><p>“Yes!” Rebecca said. She looked at Sam, grinning. He smiled back, glad to see some of the puzzles in Bucky’s life were coming together.</p><p>“What happened to him?”</p><p>Rebecca suddenly looked sad. “He died. It was a heart attack. In 2006.”</p><p>Bucky went silent again. Another opportunity missed.</p><p>“He still has family living in Montana. We keep in touch.” Kim said.</p><p>Bucky was still silent. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He wanted to rage against Hydra. Where was he in 2006? He couldn’t remember. Even if he did, it was guaranteed he wasn’t anything good.</p><p>Kim, Rebecca, and Sam all looked at each, unsure how to respond to Bucky’s silence.</p><p>“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked, gently.</p><p>Bucky nodded. “Yeah. Can you tell me more about our parents and our brother and sister? The Smithsonian mentioned that I was the oldest of four, but I don’t…”</p><p>“Ask us anything. We’ll gladly fill in any gaps.” Rebecca reassured.</p><p>Rebecca started at the beginning. That beginning was the day after Bucky shipped out for England.</p><p>They spoke about his other sister, Kathleen. She was the second oldest, three years younger than Bucky. The image of her was vague. He tried to recall her face, it just looked slightly out of focus for him until Rebecca pulled out a photo of her. She had a long lean face with dark eyes and hair. She looked like their mother, Rebecca said. They were often mistaken for sisters which secretly thrilled their mother.</p><p>Kathleen had gotten married the same year that Bucky “died” but four years later, she and her baby died in childbirth. It was a huge blow for their parents especially after news of Bucky’s death. Paul, their third sibling, had moved to Montana to fulfill his dream to be a cowboy. He got married in 1951 and after working for years, he managed to have his own cattle ranch which his three daughters still run today along with some of their kids. Bucky learned that his parents, George and Winnifred, had lived a long life and passed away from old age. After losing two of their oldest children, he was happy to know that they didn’t suffer anymore hardships and had gotten to be surrounded by their grandchildren.</p><p>Bucky stared at the photos of his parents and siblings. He tried so hard to remember their voices, the feel of his mother’s touch when she caressed him. The smell of his father’s cologne when he hugged him. The sound of his sibling’s laughter when they played.</p><p>Sam noticed the pensive look on Bucky’s face. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Buck?”</p><p>Bucky shrugged. “It’s like… the memories are there but they are blocked behind a door.”</p><p>“It’s a lot to take in.” Sam looked over at Rebecca and Kim. “Bucky has suffered a lot of brain damage to his limbic system. It was treated not that long ago.”</p><p>“Limbic system?” Kim asked.</p><p>“It’s the area in the brain where it deals with emotions and long-term memory. It’s gonna take him awhile for any memories to come back to him.”</p><p>“The good ones, at least.” Bucky mumbled under his breath.</p><p>“He just needs to take easy and not force the memories.”</p><p>“Oh, did I push too much?” Rebecca indicated to the photos and looking at Bucky worryingly.</p><p>Sam shook his head. “No, it helps. It’s a good way to help kick start his memories now that his brain has the images to go with the names. It’ll come to him just albeit slowly.”</p><p>“Do you think he should go see Dr. Luka?” Rebecca suddenly asked Kim.</p><p>“Who’s Dr. Luka?”</p><p>“He’s my primary doctor but he’s a neurologist as well. Maybe he could look into your condition and help.”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Bucky didn’t like the idea of seeing a doctor especially a neurologist considering the history he’s had with doctors and scientists messing around with his brain. This could open another can of worms that he is not ready for.</p><p>“He’s actually pretty well known. I feel pretty lucky we have him as a doctor for Grams.” Kim said. “He’s been in a magazine recently. I’ll go get it.” She got up to leave.</p><p>“He’s really good, Bucky. He’s taken really good care of me this past year.”</p><p>“I’m sure he’s great Rebecca but I’m just… not comfortable with doctors.” Understatement of the year. “Sam’s been helping me pretty good.”</p><p>“I’ve forgotten how stubborn you can be.” Rebecca chuckled. “It doesn’t hurt to ask questions.”</p><p>Kim came back, holding a magazine already folded to the page where the incredible Dr. Luka was featured. She handed it to Bucky in passing. As soon as he saw the photo of the doctor, his heart stopped.</p><p>“Bucky?” Sam inquired. He immediately saw Bucky’s face drained of color, going completely pale. His breathing was labored. He was on the edge of a panic attack. “Bucky!”</p><p>“What is it?” Rebecca sounded panicked.</p><p>The magazine fell to the floor as Bucky pushed himself away from the table. Rebecca, Kim and Sam’s voices faded as images of darkness, and lightning clouded his vision. Sharp, shooting pain pulsed in his head and his eyes watered as words flashed before them.  He couldn’t shut his eyes as much as he wanted to. A blurred face suddenly came before him. As it came closer, the pounding of his heart became more severe. He felt arms grabbing him and he tried to fight them off, but they felt so sluggish.</p><p>The blurred face suddenly came into focus and this time, Bucky couldn’t hold back the scream.</p><p>It was the face of Dr. Luka.</p><p>But Bucky knew him as Dr. Aleksander Lukin.</p><p> </p><p>Tbc.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In case anyone was wondering, what Bucky's mother, Winniefred, was going through is a real thing called Rapid or Precipitous labor. Pregnant women who go through this risky labor usually deliver less than three hours and once the contractions start, the pain don't stop until that baby is born. I actually had planned on Bucky to deliver his sister by himself but I figured given the time period, his age, and the fact that even husbands weren't allowed to be in the same room when the child is being born, it would be too weird for Bucky to go through that. </p><p>Bucky's siblings, comes from a small piece of info from the MCU wiki fan page but they never elaborate on it so their genders, names, and their backgrounds come from my own imagination and headcanon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter update. I'm dealing with insecurity and writer's block even thought this story is basically planned out. But to quote from a podcast I listened to recently, "You can't be creative when you're in survival mode." So I'm trying my best! Thank you for your patience!</p><p>p.s. I am SO hyped for The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. March 19th, yay!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Sometime in the 1970s</em>
</p><p>“This is the second time the asset has gone off mission. Only this time it took us weeks to find him.” Agent Drugov complained. He was still frustrated how the asset managed to disappear for so long. Under his watch, no less. It was embarrassing how a meat puppet like the asset who had no clue who or where he was the majority of the time was able to go against orders and hide from him. The first time was a mistake. The second time was on purpose, he felt. </p><p>“That is why I suggested to keep him off of missions until I perfected the memory wipe.” Dr. Lukin retorted. He ignored at how the two Hydra agents had flanked him on either side. Only one was doing the talking but he wasn’t going to be intimidated, not when he had been warning the higher officials of this exact possibility.</p><p>“We were never told about that.”</p><p>“Then I would suggest you discuss that with your commanding officer.” Lukin argued back. “Out of curiosity, where was he when you found him?”</p><p>“Why does that matter? What matters is that he disobeyed my orders when he wasn’t supposed to!” The Hydra agent shouted.</p><p>Dr. Lukin ignored his outburst. “I need to know the state of his mind when you found him if I am able to fix it. Now, where was he?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Somewhere near Brooklyn. He was in abandoned building, talking to himself.” Drugov had felt an incredible swell of anger when he found the asset in that room. Mumbling around like some damn fool, holding a bloody nail in his flesh hand. Despite the sound beating he gave the asset once they had recovered him into their van to show how he had fucked up, he felt a small vestige of that anger still. He was made to look to incompetent and he took that personally.</p><p>“He made an unauthorized killed.” The other Hydra agent spoke up finally. </p><p>“Luckily, it was no one important. Someone no one would miss so there’s no possibility being traced back to us.” Agent Drugov supplied. The place the asset was hiding was a dump, surrounded by homeless people. What's one more body in the river for the police?</p><p>Dr. Lukin was suddenly intrigued, “You said he was talking to himself? What was he saying?” The asset rarely spoke unless he was answering a direct order or command.</p><p>“We don’t know, it didn’t make sense."</p><p>“He was writing on the walls. Names, some dates, places.” The second hydra agent shrugged.</p><p>Dr. Lukin smirked, “Sounds like his memories were coming back albeit brokenly. He was trying to make sense of it.” He had suspected that this would happen. He had noticed confusion and hesitations from the asset for a few months now but nothing what these two men were describing. He was glad that he was right. More proof that he could shove in the faces of those higher ups. </p><p>“The asset isn’t capable of making decisions like that.” The second hydra agent narrowed his eyes in confusion.</p><p>“He is now because the wipe program was starting to fail!” Dr Lukin said exasperated. “I have explained all of this in my reports to your superiors. The serum inside of him was rejecting the wipes, repairing the damages it left behind quicker than ever.” He had always suspected that the higher ups were ignoring the weekly health and mental reports of the asset. Especially when he saw the notes came back with suggestions of the memory wipes to be higher voltage and drawn out longer. Obviously, it wasn’t working. A mere band-aid to a much bigger problem that Dr. Lukin suspected. He asked for the asset to be put on ice while he improved the memory wipe program multiple times, however, they kept sending the asset on missions. This annoyed him greatly. He felt his gifts were being wasted in this place. Why did they even bother to recruit him if all they were going to do was ignore his observations? He suspected that they just wanted a glorified doctor slash babysitter for the asset ever since Dr. Zola died. He was just there until they found someone "better" suited for the job. He was going to prove them wrong. The malfunction of the asset's state of mind will be the perfect way of showing them that he was more. </p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p>Dr. Lukin rolled his eyes. “In short, the electric wipes were weaker because the serum has made him stronger.”</p><p>“How do we fix that?”</p><p>“You mean how do<em> I</em>  fix it?” Dr. Lukin said, smug. “I have created a method that could help make the wipe last longer.”</p><p>“What method?”</p><p>“I was inspired by the MK Ultra reports thanks to our agents. I have introduced the used of certain words in the new wipe program that would help keep him in compliance with your orders. However, with a little difference. I have used certain drugs, LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin along with electric current going directly to his limbic system. By doing this I have used thin metal needles modeled after acupuncture needles to make sure the electric current is hitting directly into where it needs to go.” Dr. Lukin smiled, looking confident.</p><p>He walked them over where a large, white curtain hanged, closed off to the rest of the base. With a quick yank, he revealed the asset. He sat in a chair completely strapped in as if he was about to be wiped. However, they noticed how his eyes were forcefully pried open by small, metal clamps as he stared into a large screen with a mixture of words flashing. Another doctor stood next to him, administering every so often drops into the asset’s eyes to keep them from drying out. He had several of tear tracks already flowing down his cheeks.</p><p>There was an IV line connected into a vein of his flesh arm, shooting him up with the drugs Dr. Lukin had mention to make him compliant. The asset had a mouth guard in place that muffled the sounds of pain as small short zaps of electricity pulsate at each flash of the words on the screen. The words were repeated out loud through a recorded speaker. The asset flinched and whimpered at each zap. The muscles of his flesh arm would tense and seize all the way down to where his hand gripped the arm rest. His knuckles turned white underneath the dried blood whenever the electric current went through him.  Both Hydra agents couldn't help but look a little disgusted by this new technique. Sometimes the agents wondered if Dr. Lukin enjoyed inflicting pain onto the asset much like his predecessor, Dr. Zola. But in truth, Dr. Lukin didn't care much about the asset. The only thing he cared about is how much he was useful to him to able to continue his experimentations. With the asset as his subject, there was so much he could do and study. To Dr. Lukin, the asset was nothing more  than a toy that he can used. And he did it gleefully. </p><p>“It’s still in its early stages so there might be a few sessions before its perfect. You'll be given the activation words so you'll be the only one with any influence on the asset. I have also introduced a fail-safe word. Just as a precaution if he does go off mission. Just say it once and it should render him unconscious to make for an easy pick up.”</p><p>“What is the fail-safe word?”</p><p>Dr Lukin paused for dramatic effect before saying, “Sputnik.” He grinned, clearly proud of his suggestion.</p><p>Agent Drugov scoffed and tried not to laugh. The other agent just stood there and didn't seem impressed. Dr Lukin suddenly felt a little self-conscious.</p><p>"What? It was the greatest moment for our country at the time. A breakthrough for science!!"</p><p>“Sputnik? Really?” Drugov chuckled.</p><p>Dr. Lukin shrugged, clearly looking embarrassed.  “I wanted be an astronaut when I was a kid.”</p><p> </p><p>#</p><p> </p><p>The taste of the bite guard was not an unfamiliar one. He knew that but he just can’t remember how he knew that.</p><p>He cannot remember much of anything. He just felt... confused. He was somewhere and it was important  that he needed to know. He tried to write it down but the words wouldn't come out. Or did it? The stuck him inside a dark room and was told to wait there. Usually, they debriefed and stuck back in cryo after a mission so this was different. He had looked down at his flesh hand and saw the dried blood. So, he did complete his mission but why did it feel like he was going to be punished?</p><p>They found him on the floor of the dark room, rocking back and forth. He was trying to remember but all he saw was a blank spot. He didn't fight when they put him in the chair. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. Did he do something wrong? This was different. He didn't know how he knew that but he knew right at that moment, this wipe was different. Then all he knew in the moment was pain. The pain surrounded his head. Literally. Every time the pain hit, he wanted to close his eyes against it, but he couldn’t for some reason. A voice filtered into his head whenever the pain hit. It was like each time the pain came, it helped him focus on the words. He wanted to know what it was saying. It must be important. From his peripheral, he could see someone in a white coat would stand by next to him, fiddling around with his IV. The white coats always scared him. Every time. It was usually something not good when they would show up. But this time, the white coat check is IV  and soon felt his body go limp and heavy. And then, the coolness of water onto his eyes. His muscles throughout would seized up whenever that wave of pain came through over him and every time he tried to scream but all would come out was a muffled moan. The words on the screen and the voice is in his head sank into him and he let them carry him away. Away from the pain. He felt them lulled him to go into another place. Soon, little by littler those words would remove his fear. He felt the water flowed down from his forced opened eyes, but the white coat didn't give him the eye drops yet. The water was his own tears he realized. </p><p>
  <em>tbc</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>By the way, I claim poetic license in this chapter. It was inspired a little bit of the MK ultra program but mostly from a scene from  "A Clockwork Orange", a film that I still haven't finished watching because it was too disturbing for me. Anyway, I tried my best to keep it in the realm of realism especially with the medical stuff but this is MCU we're talking about here. With super-soldiers, Gods, and a big, purple alien who snapped half the universe away and time travel, so I think I'm allowed to go outside the box a bit in my writing.  That's the fun about writing fanfic! Thanks for reading, dear readers. Let me know what you think. 😊</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there, dear readers! It is I, Ms Chaos who is now under a pseud called Stark-Raving-Hazelnut in which I will be posting and updating any future MCU fanfics under this name. </p>
<p>First thing, thank you for reading so far and giving my fic a chance as this is my first time writing and hopefully completing a multi-chapter fic.  I hope to gain more experience writing since I got other stories in mind that I want to write and share with readers and again hopefully help develop my skills as a writer.</p>
<p>Second, I wanted to update this chapter quickly because I have discovered a cracked tooth which means I need to go to the dentist in the next few days.  I'm also 100% sure that I will be needing a root canal and a crown so I might not be in the mood to write out the next chapter but I will do my best. Also, can I say, that I am TERRIFIED of going to the dentist? Like, legit panic inducing fear of the dentist. I'm also trying to finish this fic up before the show premieres on the 19th(we're in March already??) but as soon as episodes aired I will be changing the tags to something more appropriate.</p>
<p>Anyway, I'll shut up now. I hope you will enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Brooklyn, 1942.</em>
</p>
<p>A few weeks before Bucky had to shipped out to England, Rebecca had horrible nightmares that lasted for days.</p>
<p>Rebecca had nightmares before as all children often do. During the nights where Rebecca had bad dreams, it was either her sister Kathleen, who she shared a room with, or sometimes her mother that could soothed and comfort her. However, on this late night, Rebecca’s screams had awakened half the household out of their sleep and this time, it was Bucky who was the first one up. He was groggy as he got out of his bed. He looked over at the bed next to him where Paul slept soundly. He could hear the quiet snores coming from underneath the covers. Bucky shook his head in disbelief. That kid was such a deep sleeper, he could sleep through a hurricane.  He was making his way towards Rebecca’s room when he heard the bedroom door of where his parents slept. Winnifred was stepping out her brown hair was pinned neatly and tightly around her head which was a contrast to her sleepy face. She was shrugging into her robe when Bucky stopped her.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I got this one. Go back to sleep.” Bucky whispered.</p>
<p>“Are you sure? This is the third night in a row.” his mother whispered back.</p>
<p>Bucky nodded, “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m used to it.” He smirked.</p>
<p>Winnifred hesitated at first but gave in as sleep pulled her back to her bed. As a mother she felt a little bit of guilt. She should be the one to comfort her frighten child but lately Bucky seemed to have a way to calming Rebecca and getting her back to sleep after a nightmare. In the mornings during the hours of the day, it was Winnifred that Rebecca sought out for comfort and reassurance as if the nightmares still lingered on.</p>
<p>Bucky walked into Rebecca’s room and saw his little sister curled up underneath her covers, whimpering and crying. She slept alone in the room since Kathleen was staying the night over at a friend’s house which gave her a reprieve from Rebecca’s nightmares.</p>
<p>Rebecca let out short burst of sobs of whatever it was that was troubling her. Bucky did what he always did when this happened. He went over to her and gently picked her up, settling her in his lap as he hugged her. She’d fought and squirm in his arms as Bucky would try to reassure her, hoping that his voice would reach his little sister from the depths of her bad dreams. Eventually, she would awaken and look up to see her big brother peer down on her. Fresh, hot tears would spring forth and she would reach up to hug her brother tighter. He would hold her, rocking her gently and wait for her tears to die down. He felt the tension in her arms release and left her limp in his arms.</p>
<p>“You okay?” He asked quietly in the dark. He felt Rebecca’s small head nod against his chest. “You want to talk about it?” This time he felt her shake her head, no. It must have been a bad one.</p>
<p>“You know that the bad dreams can’t hurt you, right?” He whispered.</p>
<p>“I know.” She whispered back. She said so matter of fact that it surprised Bucky. It was as if she was talking about something else. Something besides herself. What else could she be frighten of. Bucky suddenly had an idea of what had scared her so much these past few nights.</p>
<p>“Rebecca.” He said in a hushed tone. “Are the dreams about me?”</p>
<p>Rebecca was still for a few moments until Bucky heard a tiny, “Yes.”</p>
<p>Bucky shut his eyes and sighed.  Goddamn it, this was going to be tough. He was already dealing with his own anxiety about leaving although he had been keeping it to himself. He gave everyone including his parents, a face of a man who was eager to join the army and help fight against tyranny just like any young man his age during this time but in truth, he was scared. So was Rebecca, apparently. Everyone else in his family followed suit. They choose to ignore their fears and worries of Bucky leaving and hid it with a mask of proud patriotism as if they were afraid to voice their fears because it would somehow make it come true. All except Rebecca. Although she was too young fully understand the politics of war, all she knew was that her older brother was leaving home to fight the bad men. And unlike everyone else, Rebecca’s fears were difficult to hide and came out in the forms of nightmares.</p>
<p>Bucky pulled Rebecca away from his chest so he can get a good look at her. Her blue eyes still swam with tears and they trailed down her heated, pink cheeks. Bucky cupped one of Rebecca’s cheeks and used his thumb to wipe them away, but only smeared them even further.</p>
<p>“Are you scared about me leaving?” He asked, still in a low voice so no one else could hear. Rebecca looked down sadly and nodded. Bucky sighed. This explained everything. The sudden nightmares. How Bucky seemed to be the only one who could bring Rebecca out from them. They weren’t about her. They were about him and having Bucky there to wake her gave her the reassurance that the bad dreams weren’t real.</p>
<p>“Can I tell you something?”</p>
<p>Rebecca sniffed and nodded again.</p>
<p>It was time to let the truth come out. “I’m scared too.”</p>
<p>Rebecca looked up at Bucky, her eyes going a little wide. “You are?” she whispered in astonishment. She seemed bewildered at her big brother’s confession. She couldn’t see how that was possible.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He said softly. He swallowed against the sudden dryness of his throat. He wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Rebecca. It would only frighten her even more.</p>
<p>“I thought you weren’t scared of anything. You’re always brave.”</p>
<p>“Not always.”</p>
<p>“But why are you still leaving even though you are scared?” Rebecca had trouble understanding.</p>
<p>“Because that’s what being brave means. Doing something even though it scares you.”</p>
<p>Rebecca always thought being brave meant having no fear of anything. Like the Knights in fairy tale stories she had read from the library. They always seemed to gladly jump in front of a dragon to protect the princess. She had always looked at Bucky as one of those knights.</p>
<p>“Right now, there are bad men far away who are hurting people. And I want to help those people because it’s the right thing to do. Because no one should push people around.”</p>
<p>Rebecca nodded slowly. Bucky was right. She had often seen Bucky help Steve whenever bullies picked on him. She even recalled once when Bucky stood up to Timmy Armstrong, an older mean boy who teased Rebecca relentlessly every day after school as she walked home. Bucky happened to walk by Rebecca’s route one day, just in time to see Timmy pull on Rebecca’s hair causing her to drop her books. Timmy laughed and kicked them away as Rebecca tried to pick them up when suddenly Bucky showed up like a storm and grabbed Timmy by his shirt. He spoke lowly to Timmy, telling him to stay away from his sister or he was going to get a smacking and tell his parents what a brat he has been. Bucky’s presence alone was enough to scare Timmy who was unaware of Rebecca having an older brother. After that day, Timmy never bothered her again.</p>
<p>And now, there are people that lived far away who need a big brother like Bucky.</p>
<p>Rebecca snuggled closer to Bucky. “Promise…?” her quiet voice trailed off.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Promise me that you will come back?”</p>
<p>Bucky was silent. This was a promise that had no guarantee. He didn’t want to make this promise, but for a ten-year-old, it meant everything especially coming from her big brother.  How could he deny her this little bit of hope?  After nights of horrible dreams where she thought the worst of what could happen to her brother in some far away land, he wanted to give her a little bit of peace.</p>
<p>“I promise.” He placed his chin on top of Rebecca’s head. He placed his hand on Rebecca’s back and rubbed in a gentle circle, hoping that it would soothe her back to sleep.</p>
<p>“I promise that I will come back.” He felt like he was lying to her, but it was a good lie he told himself.</p>
<p>Little did Bucky know that he would be able to complete his promise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bucky sat in silence on Rebecca’s couch as Sam and Kim cleaned up the outside patio. He had snapped out of his flashback minutes ago and found himself surrounded by a mess. Two chairs had been toppled over, food and plates littered the wooden floor, and the table was pushed far to the other side of the patio. Horror flashed through him when he realized that he was responsible for this clutter. He was also terrified if he had become violent, judging by the scene before him but Sam reassured him that no one was hurt. Bucky still felt ashamed, however. He didn’t want his sister to see this side of him. These types of reactions. Moments like these were private, reserved for when he was alone or Sam, at least. Bucky knew what happened will just raise more questions from his sister that he wasn’t ready to answer yet. He just wanted to reconnect with her. He didn’t want to go back to where Hydra memories lurked in his mind. And he didn’t want to take his siter there.</p>
<p>So he sat quietly with Rebecca’s body pressed close to his. Rebecca didn’t press him for questions and Bucky was grateful for that. Instead she just held his hand (the non-metal one, thank God.) and waited until he was ready to speak or do anything. Her presence was comforting, and he felt… safe. That stunned him a bit. It was a feeling that he hadn’t experienced in such a long time. He looked down where his hand cupped into Rebecca’s small one. He realized that Rebecca was rubbing his back in a gentle circle with her other hand, absentmindedly. He felt the corner of his mouth quirk into an almost smile. How things have changed.</p>
<p>“Bucky?” Rebecca’s voice said, softly as if she was worried to disturb his moment of trying to obtain peace. He tilted his head towards her in question.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>Bucky nodded, “Yeah.” He said, his voice rough. “I was just thinking.”</p>
<p>“About?” she asked apprehensive.</p>
<p>Bucky’s mouth quirked up into a small smile. “About the time when I used to do the same to you.”</p>
<p>Rebecca looked confused and looked down. “Hold your hand?”</p>
<p>Bucky gestured at her hand on his back. “You used to have nightmares. A week before I shipped out, you had a nightmare almost every night. I used to hold you and rub your back.”</p>
<p>“I don’t remember that.” Rebecca said in astonishment. “I remember you leaving. Is that where I got this from?”</p>
<p>“Probably.”</p>
<p>Rebecca chuckled, “And here I thought I was trying to help you remember.”</p>
<p>Bucky smiled. Rebecca opened her mouth to speak but hesitated. Bucky noticed of course.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“Did that… photo reminded you of something?”</p>
<p>Bucky tensed. Not now, not yet. “Rebecca, I-“</p>
<p>“I saw the look on your face, Bucky when you saw that photo.” Rebecca said. “I have never seen you look so scared before. Why? Did he remind you of someone?”</p>
<p>Bucky bit down on his tongue. Fuck, it’s going there. He took in a breath but before he could say anything, Sam walked into the living room towards them.</p>
<p>“Hey, we managed to save some of the food but other than that, no damage done.”</p>
<p>Except my brain, Bucky thought miserably.  “We should go.”</p>
<p>“No! Please, don’t leave yet.” Rebecca exclaimed. She held on to his hand tight.</p>
<p>“Bucky-“ Sam started.</p>
<p>“We should go.” Bucky interrupted firmly as he stood up. As much as he wanted to stay and talk with his sister longer, he needs to go home and sort out his head. He turned and looked down at his sister who still sat on the couch. He could see the sadness and pleading in her eyes for him to stay. She was scared. She wasn’t scared earlier when he had his episode but suddenly, she was afraid of him leaving. Of him disappearing like before.</p>
<p>“Rebecca I’m sorry but I’m…” Bucky struggled to what to say and how to explain how he was feeling. Only one word came to mind. “Tired.”</p>
<p>Rebecca nodded sadly. She was resigned at Bucky’s decision and let go out his hand. “I’m sorry, you’re right.”</p>
<p>“No, don’t apologize. I’m the one who made the mess.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t blame you.” Rebecca said.</p>
<p>Bucky didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He still felt like he was at blame for a lot of things.</p>
<p>“Promise me that you will come back?” Rebecca asked. Bucky’s heart twisted at her question. She sounded almost exactly like when she was ten years old before he left. How could he deny her this bit of hope?</p>
<p>“I promise.” He stated.</p>
<p>This time it didn’t feel like lie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>#</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam followed Bucky as they head towards the car. He could see the tension in Bucky’s stance as he followed him from behind, but he had seen the look on his face as soon as they stepped out of the Proctor’s home.</p>
<p>“What’s on your mind, Buck?”</p>
<p>Bucky didn’t look back, he kept walking, “I’m gonna need your help and if you don’t want to do it, I’ll understand. I’ll do it myself.”</p>
<p>“What?” Sam felt a little wary. Bucky’s whole demeanor was different. He seemed focused. Determined.</p>
<p>Bucky finally stopped and turned to look at Sam when he reached the car.</p>
<p>“I need you to help me find someone.”</p>
<p>Sam stopped a few feet away from Bucky. “This someone wouldn’t happen to be a certain doctor, does it?”</p>
<p>Bucky said nothing. He tilted his head and looked at Sam as if he was daring him to challenge him.</p>
<p>“I don’t think this is a good idea.”</p>
<p>“I thought that was the whole point of all this. Going down memory lane. Answers for questions I might have.” Bucky said.</p>
<p>“Judging by your flashback episode by there, something tells me that you are looking for more than just answers to questions.”</p>
<p>Bucky smirked and said nothing.</p>
<p>“This isn’t going to fix anything.”</p>
<p>“Who said it will?”</p>
<p>“Buck, I’ve seen that look in your eye before. It was right when Zemo switched on the Winter Soldier. Now, I’m just worried that you are going down a rabbit hole that you will not be able to get out of.”</p>
<p>“I have questions that need to be answered.”</p>
<p>“Like what?” Sam asked, skeptically.</p>
<p>“Like why is that sadistic bastard my sister’s doctor?” Bucky practically snarled.  Sam went quiet. “The same man who tortured me and played with my brain as if it was his goddamn toy. The same man who invented those trigger words and created the Winter Soldier? Who is a doctor under another name</p>
<p> and taking care of my sister? That can’t be a coincidence.”</p>
<p>Sam had to admit. It did seem suspicious, but he was worried that Bucky will do more than ask answers from this Dr Luka. What is going to do if Bucky get answers he might not like? They were already on General Ross’ radar when accords went down and even though it has been five years and were laying low a bit, Sam didn’t want to get any unwanted attention. More specifically, he didn’t want to go back to that underwater prison. But Bucky was determined to get answers anyway that he could with or without Sam’s help. At least, he asked Sam first.</p>
<p>“Like I said,” Bucky said, calmly, “I understand if you don’t want to help me, but I need to find out. I just got my sister back and I don’t want her to have anything to do with that monster. His hands bring nothing, but pain and I want him to never touch her again.”</p>
<p>Sam stood quietly, weighing his options. He could turn a blind eye and let Bucky handle this himself but a part of him was worried that things might get out of hand. He knew that Bucky would not ask his question gently if he manages to confront Dr Luka. The least he could do is help keep Bucky thinking rationally throughout all this.</p>
<p>After a long moment, Sam finally spoke.</p>
<p>“When do we start?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>tbc</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Any mistakes you may have found, please excuse them. I wrote this in haste and wanted to get it out as soon as I could. </p>
<p>Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought in the comments down below! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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